The Best Man Read online

Remembering the story of Goggy's tragic first love, Faith sighed. "Pops, I think it would mean a lot to Goggy. A long marriage is something to be proud of--"

  "Or terrified of," he said.

  "--and Goggy deserves a special night. Don't you think so?"

  "Oh, I don't know. We don't generally like that sort of fuss."

  "What sort of fuss?" Goggy asked, coming back into the room.

  "It's about time," Pops grumbled. "I'm starving. It's ten after five already."

  "I was telling Pops," Faith said firmly, "that I thought it'd be nice to throw you two an anniversary party."

  "What does he think?" Goggy said after a beat, as if her husband wasn't seated a foot away.

  "Who needs a party?" Pops snorted. "Too much money."

  "I'd love it," Goggy said instantly. "What a nice idea, sweetheart! Aren't you wonderful to think of it." She gave Pops a dirty look, then smiled at Faith. "Want to stay for supper? You look too thin."

  Oh, grandmothers! "No, Goggy, but thanks. I have to go, actually. I have a date."

  This caused some coos of delight from Goggy, who felt she was owed more great-grandchildren, and fast, as well as some grumbles of warning from Pops about the evil natures of men.

  Faith kissed them both, then headed for home. She was meeting Ryan Hill at O'Rourke's, which would allow Colleen to check out the guy, as well as allow Faith to get the nachos grande. Two birds, one stone, a possible husband.

  But first, Faith thought as she came into the Village, a macchiato from Lorelei's. She tied Blue to the lamppost and went into the bakery, where she was immediately presented with the solid back of Manningsport's chief of police, who was just placing his order. "Medium coffee, please, Lorelei. Cream, no sugar."

  "You got it, Chief," Lorelei said with her customary smile.

  "You sure you want cream?" Faith asked, a trifle loudly. Chief Asspain turned and gave her a four on the Boredom Scale--What's your name again? Didn't stop her knees from giving a traitorous wobble. "Because you might think you want cream, but then you taste the coffee, and you decide you don't really like it, after all. Cream might be a bad idea. Or a big mistake."

  "It won't be," he said, giving her an odd look.

  "Wow. You're so decisive today, Levi! But are you sure? Because if you end up not liking the coffee, its feelings might be hurt."

  "What are you babbling about?" he said.

  "Indecision. Poor impulse control. Waffling."

  The four grew to a six: I can't believe I still have to talk to you. Lorelei handed him his coffee. "There you go, Chief! Oh, hi, Faith, I didn't see you there! How are you? What would you like today?"

  Screw the coffee. Granted, she might go into sugar shock, but some fortification was called for. "I'll have a chocolate croissant and a small hot chocolate, please."

  "You bet!"

  "How about a slab of chocolate cake with that?" Levi suggested. "Maybe a candy bar on the side?"

  "Aren't there criminals who need to be brought to justice somewhere, Levi? Hmm?"

  He was still staring, his forehead slightly crinkled. "Is this about the other day?" he asked.

  "What other day?" she snapped.

  "Look," he said, "that...moment...was a mistake, and I'm sorry."

  "Women love to hear that. No, really. It's so flattering."

  "I'm not trying to flatter you. I'm just telling you the truth. It was a blunder, and I regret it."

  "Keep it up. I might swoon."

  Lorelei was done and rang her up. Faith handed her a five. "Thanks, Lorelei," she said, taking her goodies. "Chief Cooper. Have a lovely day."

  He didn't bother answering, but his irritation was palpable.

  It was deeply satisfying.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  TWO HOURS LATER, Faith walked into the warm Friday night roar that was O'Rourke's and went straight to Colleen, keeper of all information. "He's here," Coll said, "third booth in the back, adorable, nice manners, hint of a Southern drawl." Her friend grinned and pulled a beer for Wayne Knox. Looked like the volunteer fire department was having a "meeting." Gerard, Neddy-bear, Jessica Does and Kelly Matthews were all grouped on one side of the bar, howling with laughter.

  "How do I look?" Faith asked her.

  Colleen leaned over the bar and gave Faith's shirt a tug to show more flesh. "There. Work the assets, girlfriend. Am I right, boys?"

  The males of the fire department agreed heartily. "Can't go wrong with boobs," Everett Field said.

  "I babysat you," Faith returned.

  "I remember. I think about it all the time." He received a hearty slap on the back from Gerard Chartier, his comrade-in-ogling.

  "Get going," Coll said. "Jeremy's already over there, chatting him up."

  "Jeremy's here?"

  "Yeah. He and Levi usually come in on Fridays."

  "Their weekly date?" Faith couldn't help asking.

  "I must say, Levi is looking uber-hot these days," Coll said. "Those arms! Honestly, he comes in wearing a T-shirt and I actually have an orgasm. Here's your white wine spritzer, Mrs. Boothby." She ignored the disapproving glare from the florist. "Your dad is also here," Colleen added, "speaking of men who--"

  "Oops! There's the line, don't cross it." Faith went to the far side of the bar where her father was talking to--oh, hemorrhoid, to Levi. "Hi, Dad. You look nice." He did--he was showered, for one, and wore a rugby-style shirt rather than his usual tattered flannel.

  "Hello, sweetpea," Dad said, giving her a one-armed hug.

  "Faith," said the police chief.

  "Levi." Amazing how he could irritate her just by saying her name.

  "You're on a date, I hear," Dad said.

  "I am," she said. "Hopefully it won't be a mistake. Or a bad idea. Or a blunder."

  Levi sighed and stared into the middle distance.

  "I'm sure it won't be," her father said. "Well, you go have a good time, honey. I'll be here if you need me."

  "Thanks, Dad." She dropped her voice to a whisper. "Are you here alone?"

  "I'm meeting Lorena."

  "Oh." She tried not to flinch. So far, she'd screened and dismissed the women of eCommitment/SeniorLove, and her efforts to engage Cathy Kennedy in conversation about her sainted father had fallen with a thud. "Okay, well...there are other fish in the lake, Dad."

  "What kind of fish?"

  "Fish who don't wear cheetah-print bras with see-through shirts and ask what your bank balance is," she said, referencing Sunday's dinner conversation, which had caused Mrs. Johnson to growl audibly.

  Dad still looked clueless. "Never mind, Dad. Just don't get married without checking with me first."

  Her father laughed. "Listen to her, Levi. Half the time I have no idea what she's talking about."

  "I know the feeling," Levi said.

  Ooh. "Well. My date awaits."

  "Have fun," Levi said.

  "Yes, honey, have fun!" Dad said. "I'm ready for more grandchildren. Just keep that in mind." He pinched her chin. "Levi, don't I have the prettiest daughters?"

  "You do," he answered, his glance flicking over Faith, pausing for just a microsecond on her boobage. "Got your list?" he added.

  Faith didn't deign to answer (but, yes, it was in her purse). She took a calming breath and went to the third booth. There was Jeremy, looking utterly beautiful, talking to Ryan, she assumed.

  "Faith!" Jeremy jumped up, kissed her cheek, his smile as warm and bright as if it had been years since they'd seen each other and not hours. "You look beautiful, as always. Let me introduce Ryan Hill, my accountant."

  Ryan was adorable. Go, Jeremy! Dimples, honey-colored hair, blue eyes. He stood up and shook her han
d, smiling. "Great to meet you, Faith." And he had a drawl! Colleen was right! Oh, sigh!

  "I'll leave you two alone," Jeremy said. "Have a nice time!" He grinned happily and wandered off toward the bar.

  "Super guy," Ryan said.

  "Absolutely," Faith agreed.

  "So you two were engaged, he said?"

  "Yes," Faith admitted, glad to have it out of the way. "We met in high school, before he, um...came out."

  The waitress, one of the many O'Rourke cousins, came over, bringing Faith a glass of Blue Heron's dry Riesling, courtesy of Colleen, who waved from behind the bar. Ryan asked what was good here, and Faith recommended the nachos grande, which she hadn't had since Tuesday and was hence suffering serious withdrawal. "Sounds great," Ryan said. "If you like them, I'm sure I will, too." Oh! Southern charm!

  They exchanged pleasantries until the food arrived--jobs, college, where they grew up--and not a red flag to be found. In fact, Faith was feeling the tingle, oh, yeah. Ryan's cuteness, combined with Jeremy's recommendation, had her feeling truly hopeful for the first time since Clint Bundt, the Lying Liar of Lie-Land. No, Ryan was definitely her best prospect since gay Rafael (who'd just texted her a picture of the hors d'oeuvres choices they were considering for their wedding, wanting her opinion).

  Definitely better than Levi, who was an ass-pain.

  Nope. Not another thought of Levi would be entertained tonight, no way.

  As if reading her mind, Levi looked at her from across the bar, those sleepy green eyes causing certain parts of her anatomy to tighten in a hot, slow clench.

  Damn. Colleen was right. Levi Cooper was sex on a stick. Sex against the wall, on the floor, on the table, on...other naughty surfaces...dirty, sweaty, delicious sex...not that Faith had any firsthand experience with that. But she could imagine it, quite graphically, in fact. Especially while staring at the man in question.

  Oopsy. Her mouth was slightly open, and she was possibly a little flushed. She forced herself to look at her date, who smiled politely.

  Right. Concentrate on the perfectly nice man who actually seems to like you, Faith. "So," she said. "Let's cut to the chase. I'm the youngest of four, two sisters, one brother. My dad is sitting at the bar over there, so don't get fresh. I love my job, my grandparents, Ben and Jerry, and my dog, who is, I should tell you up front, the greatest canine the world has ever known."

  "Can't wait to meet him," Ryan said. "Keep on going, Miss Faith."

  She smiled. "Well, in my free time, I like to eat out, I do Pilates--" well, she intended to do Pilates, one of these days "--and I love violent, scary movies and romantic comedies. I'd like to be in a serious, committed relationship with a man who's not married, not a deadbeat dad, has a job and isn't gay. With me so far?"

  "Are you kidding?" Ryan said with another fantastic dimpled smile. "I'm halfway in love with you already."

  "Get outta town, you big liar," Faith said. Yay, Jeremy! She grinned, just happening to catch a glimpse of Levi. He was watching. That's right! Suck it up, Chief, she thought, finishing her wine. "Your turn, Ryan."

  "Not so fast, there. Jeremy tells me you have a list," Ryan said. He tore off a hunk of nachos and held it up to her mouth. Huh. Feeding her already? Was that icky, or adorable?

  Adorable, Faith, adorable. Still, a bit awkward, since the sour cream was a little drippy. But still. A good sign (she hoped).

  "I do have a list," Faith said, wiping her mouth. "It's sort of...Machiavellian."

  "Sounds fun." Ryan gave her a steamy look.

  "Really?"

  "Mmm-hmm. Give it to me, baby."

  "Oh...yeah, okay, I can do that." She paused. "Now?"

  "Sure."

  "Okay." She opened her purse and took out the well-worn list. "This is just the big stuff, you know, to make sure I shouldn't run screaming from the bar."

  Another dimpled smile. "Please don't, Miss Faith."

  He was so cute. "Okay, so...have you ever been in prison?"

  "Not yet."

  "Yay! You have an A so far. Next question: Have you fathered any children, and do you pay child support, if so?"

  "No kids. Not yet."

  Another excellent answer. Not yet, implying that he wanted them in the future. He was an A+ now.

  "Okay, last major question, and then we can get into things like moonlit walks and old movies--"

  "I love old movies. And moonlit walks."

  Well, you couldn't have everything. "How many women have you slept with?"

  Ryan had to think about that one. "Uh...ten?"

  Ten? Ten! That seemed like a lot. Then again, if you figured he was thirty-two years old (thank you, Google), and say he'd first had sex around age seventeen (because with those dimples, he wasn't getting out of high school a virgin), that was fifteen years of single heterosexual male having sex. So--Faith did some quick math in her head--that was 0.667 women per year. Which sounded very weird but maybe wasn't that many? Even if it sounded like a lot of people?

  "I had a pretty serious girlfriend right out of college," he said in his adorable drawl. "Figured we'd get married, you know? But she left me, broke my heart." He gave her a puppy dog look. "Since then, I just haven't been able to find the right person."

  Okay, okay, that was tolerable. Sort of. But still. Ten.

  "No diseases, by the way," he added.

  Granted, she'd need medical confirmation. Should she ask for his doctor's name now, or wait? Maybe waiting would be good.

  She glanced over at Levi, who was no longer looking at her. Fine. Let him ignore her. "Thanks for answering my questions, Ryan. You're very tolerant."

  "You're quite welcome. Hey. You wanna get our first kiss over with?" He smiled. "I find it makes things more relaxed, without us having to worry about how that'll go."

  "Um...okay." Another glance at Levi. You know what? Yes. Let him see her kissing someone else. She leaned over the table, moving the nachos first (wouldn't do to have guacamole on the boobage) and gave Ryan a quick kiss on the lips, then quickly sat back down.

  Was there a tingle? Too fast to tell. A quick glance at Levi, who was lifting his beer glass. Damn it. His arm made her tingle.

  "That was very nice," Ryan said. "A little sting from the jalapenos, but I kinda liked it. Sweet, with a little bite."

  "That's me," Faith said.

  His expression became rather wolfish. "Really."

  "Well, I don't actually know, but...it's sort of me, maybe." Flustered, she took a bite of nachos. Hannah O'Rourke (or possibly Monica) brought her another glass of wine, bless her.

  "So I have a list of my own," Ryan said.

  "You do? That's great!" Kindred spirits. Made her feel less freakish.

  "You ready?"

  "Sure." She sat back and smiled. "Fire away." She took a bite of the nachos.

  Ryan grinned. "Do you like being spanked?"

  She sucked a bit of jalapeno into her lung and wheezed. "Excuse me?" She coughed (and coughed, and coughed), then took a sip of her wine. "Um...I can't really say. I've never been...spanked."

  "So you're a spanking virgin?" He licked his lips.

  "I-- You know, I think that book everyone was reading last year? That may have given the wrong impression. You know, about women wanting to have violence perpetrated against them. So. That's off the table."

  "How about handcuffs?"

  "Again...uh...not a lot of experience. And not seeking any." Crap. Was there a way to keep this date from going down the toilet faster than her black wraparound sweater? Her brain groped around for a solution and came up empty.

  "Do you like being submissive? Would you have a problem calling me
Master?"

  "No, and yes. That's really not my thing, Ryan. Maybe we can shift course here, huh?"

  "Hey." The puppy dog look returned. "I answered your questions. It's only fair."

  Faith took a slow breath. It'd be so nice to just walk away now. She could. However, she really didn't feel like seeing the look on Levi's face if she did. "Fine. Go for it."

  "Great!" Ryan clapped like a little kid. "Would you like it if I locked you in my boudoir for twelve hours and only left you a glass of water?"

  "Do men have boudoirs? Because that's a very girly term to me. And no. I'd get very hungry."

  "I see. I suppose I could slide some slices of baloney under the door."

  "Baloney? I'd need more than that."

  "Maybe some American cheese?"

  "No," Faith said. "I would require a gourmet pizza with shrimp, mustard and pesto from The Red Salamander, a bottle of chardonnay, and at least one pint of Ben & Jerry's Peanut Brittle."

  "I see."

  "Also, I wouldn't let you lock me anywhere. I'd kick you in the nuts if you tried that, buddy."

  "Oh! Awesome!" Ryan beamed. For the love of all that was holy... "What if I came in dressed as Zorro with absolutely nothing on under my cape?"

  "You look nothing like Antonio Banderas. I would have to reject you. I imagine I'd laugh." Jeremy was going to have to pay for this, oh, yes indeedy. And speaking of the town's beloved doctor, where was he? "Hannah? Can we have the--"

  Ah, hell. Levi was looking at her, a slight smirk on his face. And even if Ryan was a pervert with a terrible imagination, at least he was into her. "Never mind," she told the girl. She turned her gaze back to Ryan of the Debauched Dimples. "Next question."

  "Great! Okay, say you were my cleaning woman, and you were on your hands and knees in my kitchen and I came in. What would you say?"

  "I'd say, 'Why is this floor so filthy? Can't you learn to lean over the table?'"

  "And I would say, 'Take off the uniform, Cinder-Slut, and put your skills to other uses.'"

  Faith folded her hands. "I would say, 'No, sir, I will not! I require that you hie unto the market and buy me the Clorox Cleanup I asked you to get last week.'"

  Ryan looked a little confused. "Uh...then I'd say, 'Do as I say, serving wench!'"

  "No, no, that won't work," Faith said, "See, I'm the cleaning lady, not the serving wench. Now I lost my character's motivation. Scene."