The Best Man Page 26

  "Be merciful, Coll."

  "They're kind of early, aren't they?" Connor asked, looking out from the kitchen door. "I don't usually see Jack before seven."

  "I'm screening a date for my dad. Dad will eavesdrop, then give me the thumbs-up or down."

  "You Hollands are so cute."

  The afternoon after the party, while Levi had been busy with his sister, Honor, Pru and Faith had had an intervention with Dad. Honor had served as Head Inquisitor, Mrs. Johnson banging pots and slamming drawers in the kitchen to underscore the theme of disapproval. Dad had admitted that he'd enjoyed Lorena's "wacky ways," as well as the distraction of having someone new to talk to but hadn't believed she was as attached as his children had warned. He had no intention of seeing the vegan gardener again and said he'd try to be open to dating someone. Maybe. Possibly. And, yes, he'd do what they told him from now on.

  Faith was immensely relieved.

  "Jack," she said, "brother mine, don't think I didn't notice you skulking off from the party the other night."

  "Don't think I didn't hear you left with Levi."

  "He drove me home," Faith said, feeling her face practically burst into flame.

  "Is that what you kids are calling it these days?" He gave her a cuff. "Spare me the details, okay? Pru is bad enough. Pru is horrifying, come to think of it."

  A half hour later, Faith was seated in a booth, the same one where the accountant had tried to talk dirty to her. Accountants. Were they all pervy? At any rate, Dad was in the next booth, already sweaty, pretending to talk to Jack, who was reading the paper.

  Because internet dating was the most effective way to find someone, Faith had given it another shot (avoiding StillHotGranny). She reposted a profile for her dad, admitting immediately that she was his daughter, acting as first-round screener. Tonight, she was meeting a woman named Maxine Rogers, who'd answered all questions appropriately.

  Faith was just digging into the plate of nachos grande and a glass of beautiful Riesling, which had the nicest tangerine notes and went perfectly with dinner, when Maxine approached.

  "Faith?"

  "Hi! Maxine, right?"

  The woman smiled broadly. "Yes. How are you, dear?"

  She was very tall, which hadn't come across in the photos. Her hair was black (had to be dyed, but it was a nice job, too, very shiny, unlike Lorena's Sharpie look), and her makeup was expertly applied, especially her red lipstick, which was bold and rather dashing. Maxine had put in some effort, in other words, and it worked. She was nicely dressed, especially notable since she had to be nearly six feet tall. Faith noted that her dad had turned his head the slightest bit to check her out.

  "It's wonderful to finally meet you," Maxine said. Her voice was pleasantly low-pitched.

  "You, too," Faith said. "You're so nice in your emails."

  "Oh, sweetheart, you're an angel to say so." She settled back against the booth. "I think it's very kind what you're doing, helping your father find love again. Just so sweet."

  It really was, Faith thought. "Would you like some nachos?"

  "Thank you! Aren't these gorgeous," Maxine said, taking a healthy chunk. Good. Faith hated being the only female who really ate.

  Colleen approached the booth. "Can I get you-- Oh! Hi. Uh, I'm sorry, I didn't...see you come in. Can I get you something to drink?" she asked Maxine.

  "Faith, what are you drinking, honey?" Maxine said, and Faith already liked her immensely.

  "Coll, what am I having?" she asked. "Maxine, Colleen is my oldest friend."

  "Nice to meet you," Maxine said, offering her hand to Colleen.

  "You, too. Um, Faith is drinking...the uh, the Bully 2011 Riesling, right, Faith?" Coll gave her a pointed look.

  "That's right. It's delicious," Faith said. "Tangerine overtones, a little straw flavor, very smooth finish."

  "Sounds delicious," Maxine said, smiling. "I'll have that."

  "I'll bring it right over." With that, Colleen was off.

  "So, you don't have children, is that right?" Faith asked.

  "No, sadly I never did. But I have four nieces and six nephews, and I adore them all, as well as their kids. I like to think of myself as an Auntie Mame type."

  "That's so nice. I have a niece and nephew myself. And you're a bookkeeper?"

  "Yes. I love numbers, love making sense of things. I always have."

  Faith sat back and listened as Maxine told her about life in rural Ohio and how she'd come to the Finger Lakes on vacation, then decided to move to Penn Yan after she'd had a windfall. "It was one of those things, Faith," she said. "I was doing fine, don't get me wrong, but I must've had some kind of angel on my shoulder, because really, who wins a hundred thousand dollars with a scratch-off? I asked myself, what do I want to do for the rest of my life? And this place above all others was the one that spoke to me."

  Colleen brought over the wine. "Faith, can I see you a second?" Colleen asked. From the kitchen came a crash and a yell. "Shoot," she said, and dashed off.

  Maxine was passing every test. Manners, funny, open, warm, told a good story. She was financially secure, had an active social life, loved fishing, tennis and cooking. Faith's hopes rose. At the very least, she could see Dad dating this nice lady occasionally. For one indulgent moment, as Maxine was telling her about her trip to Montana last summer, Faith pictured her in the New House for Sunday dinner, laughing her husky laugh, charming everyone. Even Mrs. J.

  Maybe Levi would be there, too.

  "I'm sorry," she said. "I didn't hear what you just said." What the heck. She already felt like she and Maxine were old friends. "I just started seeing someone myself," she whispered. "I'm a little distracted."

  Maxine's face lit up. "I wondered why a pretty girl like you was still single," she whispered. "Tell me about him."

  "It's very new," Faith whispered, feeling the heat rise into her cheeks. "He's very..." Her voice trailed off. Hot. Intense. Great in bed. Delicious.

  "Oh," Maxine said, smiling in a wonderfully conspiratorial way. "One of those. I get it."

  Faith felt like giggling. Two glasses of wine, only nachos since noon. "Anyway, back to you, Maxine. What do you like to cook?"

  Her phone vibrated, her cue to go to the bathroom. "I'm so sorry. Excuse me for one second," she said, sliding out of the booth.

  Jack met her at the entrance of the restrooms. "Dad says it's a go. He likes what he's heard so far."

  "Yes!" Faith said, elation rising up like a geyser. Finally, she could look at Dad and see a happy man, rather than a lonely widower doing his best.

  "This is so weird, Faith. I feel like we're pimping out our father."

  "No, we're not! Don't you see, Jack? Dad could get married again. He could stop missing Mom and be happy."

  Her brother gave her an odd look. "I think he'll always miss Mom, even if he did remarry, and he's not unhappy, Faith."

  "Well, you're next, so be nice to me or I'm throwing you to Colleen, and the hyenas will pick over your bones."

  "So, love is in the air, huh? Since Levi, ah, drove you home?"

  She couldn't help a smile, remembering the other night.

  "Oh, God," Jack said. "Sorry I asked." He walked back to his table.

  Faith took a minute to use the bathroom. Her cheeks were flushed. She looked a little...dreamy. Maybe Levi would come over tonight and shag her silly, since Sarah's Twitter feed said he'd dropped her off and all.

  The stall door opened, and Jessica Does came out.

  "Oh. Hey," Faith said, abruptly turning on the water. Didn't want Jessica to think she just came in to gaze at her reflection.

  And, oh, cr
ap. Jessica was Levi's old girlfriend. Would that come into play?

  "Hi." Jessica washed her hands, too.

  "How are you?" Faith asked.

  "Fine. You?"

  "Fine."

  With that, Jessica reached past Faith and grabbed some paper towels from the dispenser, her movements so sharp that Faith actually ducked. "Jesus, Holland," Jess said, rolling her eyes. "You think I'm gonna slap you or something?"

  "No, no. I didn't. I just..."

  "Whatever. Bye."

  Jess was gone, ever the princess of manners. Didn't matter. Dad's potential wife was out there.

  Faith's phone buzzed. It was a text from Colleen, for God's sake. Faith had nothing against phones and texting, but really. Colleen was in the same building. She opted not to read it but speak to her friend instead. Maxine, a live human, was waiting for her, after all. Faith opened the door and went out, only to see her father standing there.

  "I really like her," Dad said. "She seems really nice. Tall, isn't she?"

  "Mmm-hmm. Great clothes."

  Dad smiled. "I noticed that, too. Your mom was quite snazzy, too. Like you."

  This time, the guilt punch wasn't quite so strong. "Thanks, Daddy."

  Her dad folded her into a hug. "I appreciate this, sweetpea. I really do. You're awfully good to your dear old dad. So maybe I'll swing by the booth, pretend I just dropped in, how's that?"

  "That's great."

  Maxine was delicately nibbling on a nacho when Faith got back.

  Huh. Nail polish, definitely a professional mani, but there was something...

  "There you are! Hello again." Maxine smiled.

  Her phone buzzed again. Colleen, being a pain in the butt. Still, two in one minute, it must be important.

  She clicked the "view" button. The message consisted of one word. She-male.

  Huh?

  Oh.

  Oh, no. No, no. Faith glanced at Maxine.

  Oops.

  "Faith, honey!" Oh, futtocks. It was Dad. "I haven't seen you all week," he said, winking to make sure she knew he was lying like a four-term senator. "How've you been?"

  "Hi, Dad," she said in a faint voice.

  "Oh! How nice to meet you!" Maxine said. "I'm Maxine. You have an absolutely wonderful daughter."

  "I couldn't agree with you more," Dad said, sliding next to Faith. "And two more like her, I'm happy to say."

  Faith's brain was white with commotion. She thought back frantically to the eCommitment profile she'd filled out for Dad...she had clicked on man seeking woman, right?

  "Hi, everyone."

  Holy crap, it was Honor. So not good.

  "Sweetheart!" Dad said.

  "Hello," Maxine said.

  Honor looked at her, then did a double take. "Oh. Um...hi. Sorry. I'm Honor. I...I didn't realize...um, I didn't mean to, uh, interrupt." She gave Faith a look that was simply incredulous.

  "So, Maxine," Dad said. "I had no idea Faith was meeting you tonight. What a happy coincidence. I just happened to drop in, and now you can meet two of my daughters! How nice!"

  So the old fox had decided to go for it, laying it on quite thick. "Dad," Faith said, "Um, Honor has to speak with you, right, Honor?"

  "Absolutely. It's kind of important, Dad."

  "Sweetie, we live in the same house," he said. "We can talk later. Sit down. Don't be rude."

  "Very nice to meet you, Honor." Maxine beamed. Nice smile. Faith sighed. "You know, John, I think it's lovely that your daughters are so involved in helping you find someone," she said. "Really, girls. Your concern is so touching."

  "Yeah," Honor said. "I... Thank you."

  "My son is here, too, somewhere," Dad said. "Oh, there he is, at the bar. The big good-looking one."

  "Takes after his father," Maxine said.

  "Jack! Come over here," Dad called. "Maxine, I hope you don't mind. It's a small town, and O'Rourke's is our little hangout."

  "I love Manningsport," Maxine said. "I've been here before, actually. Prettiest town in New York, I think."

  "It is, it is," Dad said, nodding approvingly. He looked at Faith and gave her a little wink, as clueless as she'd been.

  Jack approached. "Hey, Dad," he said. "Hi, I'm the son." He stuck out his hand to Maxine, who shook it. Jack's eyes widened. "That's some grip," he said, glancing in horror at Faith.

  "I have one more daughter who's not here," Dad said, beaming. "But you've met seventy-five percent of my offspring. And since they're the most important things in my life, I guess it's good to get that covered."

  "A beautiful family," Maxine said. "But I'm afraid I have to go. Too bad I didn't know you'd be popping in, John! I have a dinner date with the lovely old gentleman who lives next door to me, and he barely gets out, so I'd feel terrible if I was late. But I hope we can see each other again!"

  "I think that would be great," Dad said.

  "Yeah, no, that's...that's great," Faith said. "Um, it was so nice to meet you."

  Jack and Honor murmured in agreement, their faces a bit pained.

  Maxine got out of the booth and grabbed Faith's hands. "Thank you, sweetheart," and, yeah, husky wasn't quite the right word to describe that voice.

  "Take care," Faith said. She kissed Maxine's cheek, getting a bit of stubble.

  "John, wonderful meeting you. Have a lovely weekend." She tilted her head and waved, then off she went. Faith sat back down.

  "I really liked her," Dad said. "Good job, Faithie. She's lovely."

  "Dad," Faith said. "I, uh...Maxine is not going to be your girlfriend."

  He paused. "Why?"

  Honor shook her head and sighed.

  "Well," Faith began, hoping to break this gently. "Did you notice anything about Maxine? Anything at all?"

  Her father frowned. "She's tall."

  "That's it, Dad. Run with it," Jack said, taking a long pull of his beer.

  "Um...very warm and well spoken. Pretty."

  "Pretty is not really the word here," Jack said. "Wouldn't handsome do better?"

  "Sure. I guess so," Dad said.

  Honor sighed, and turned to look at their father. "Dad, Maxine is a man."

  Dad blinked. "What?"

  "She's a man, Dad."

  "No, she's not."

  "Oh, but she is," Honor said, taking a nacho covered in cheese.

  "But she--"

  "No, Honor's right," Jack said. "It's a boy." His shoulders started shaking in a silent laugh.

  "Oh," Dad said. "Uh...oh. I see." Then he bit his lip and started laughing, too.

  Honor rolled her eyes. "Colleen, can I get a very strong martini?" she called. "Bone dry, three olives." She looked at Faith. "I'll give you this, Faith. She was better than Lorena."

  "So you kids don't want a stepfather, is that correct?" Dad said, wiping his eyes with a cocktail napkin, and though Faith laughed along with them, that familiar feeling of guilt twisted in her stomach.

  She still hadn't made things right.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  "I THINK IT'S FANTASTIC that you guys are together. Really. You're perfect for each other." Jeremy beamed at them like a proud parent.

  Faith made a noncommittal noise, looked in her wine and tried not to cringe. Levi, she imagined, was doing something similar, though of course he was too stoic and manly to cringe, but inside, he'd be cringing, too.

  They were at Jeremy's for dinner--a celebratory dinner, he'd said, because the two people he loved best in the world were shtupping each other. He seemed to be the only one celebrating, however, and it was quite possible he was a little too happy, which was rather grating.

  Jeremy had figured it out during what had become th
eir weekly lunch at Hugo's. Levi had come in for something or another, wearing a gun and looking incredibly smokin' alpha protector, and she'd fought the urge to wrap herself around him like a python. "Gotta go," he'd said, and Faith had muttered goodbye, and the second Levi was out of earshot, Jeremy's eyes had widened. "You two are doing it, aren't you?" he'd whispered gleefully.

  Yes. They were. But it was a little early to be thinking thoughts like perfect or even together. Levi was hard to figure out. On the one hand, he'd come to her apartment door six out of the eight nights since they'd first slept together. And the sex was great. She honestly hadn't known sex like that really existed outside of Ryan Gosling movies. Skyscraping, mind-blowing, tunnel-of-light great. Before and during sex, and immediately afterward, it felt as if they had something going on, something--she barely even dared to think the word--special.

  Otherwise, not so much. She'd dropped by to see him the other day at the station; he'd asked, "What can I do for you, Faith?" with a completely straight face, like she wanted to discuss her parking tickets (which she really should pay...sleeping with the police chief hadn't prevented him from ticketing her car in the forty-five seconds she'd been double-parked in front of Lorelei's).

  Then last night during nooky, he'd put a hand over her mouth, smiling. "You'll wake the neighbors," he'd said.

  "Don't stop," she'd whispered.

  Hmm. Now that she thought of it, that had been their longest conversation. Levi had been working constantly--there'd been a small crime spree in east Manningsport. He'd gone up to Geneva to have dinner with Sarah (and hadn't asked her to come...which was fine, but still, she really liked Sarah, and if she and Levi were in something, it'd be nice to see his sister more. Right?).

  So tonight was their first "date," not that it had been either of their ideas. It was the brainchild of Jeremy--Jeremy, who was dressed in black jeans, a blue striped shirt, untucked, and yellow river man's sweater with four buttons unopened at the neck. Good old Banana Republic.

  Levi, on the other hand, wore faded jeans with a tear in the knee, work boots and a flannel shirt, and despite her growing irritation with the man, it was getting hard not to rip open that shirt and take a bite.

  But so far, Levi had barely said two words to her. Make that one. He'd said hey when he came in the door, half an hour after he was supposed to be there.