Waiting on You Read online

  Her breath wanted to rush out of her lungs, but she held it in carefully, not wanting to induce another sexy choking fit.

  She'd forgotten how he looked, like a pirate, like Heathcliff of the moors, dark and slightly dangerous...except for his eyes, which could be so sad. And so happy, too.

  His black hair was slightly shorter than it had been years ago, but still gypsy beautiful, curling and black. He'd lost his boyish skinniness, had broadened in the shoulders. He hadn't shaved today, and he seemed taller now than he had back then.

  Back when he loved her.

  He seemed to read her mind, because something flickered through his eyes.

  In the year after Lucas left her, Bryce would come into the bar and mention him occasionally. Went to see my cousin last weekend, or Hey, Lucas is taking me and Dad to a White Sox game! Finally, in a rare show of vulnerability, Colleen had asked him not to talk about Lucas anymore. And in an even rarer show of understanding, Bryce seemed to get it.

  She knew he was married. No kids--surely Smiling Joe Campbell would've mentioned that. She knew he worked for his father-in-law. That was about it.

  She had told him never to call her again, never to write, and he took her at her word.

  And now, her heart was jackhammering in her chest, and though she hoped like hell her heart wasn't written all over her face, she was...terrified.

  Lucas took a breath. "Colleen, I'm only back in town because Joe asked me to come. I imagine you know he's pretty sick."

  Her heart gave an unwilling tug. "I do," she said, then, fearing that sounded a little too matrimonial, she added, "Know he's sick. I do know he's sick, I mean. He's sick, I know it, the dialysis, not easy, I guess, and I'm sorry." Her Tourette's of Terror, Connor called it when she babbled. Not that she was terrified often, but hell, she certainly was now.

  "Thank you." He glanced again at Bryce--right, right, there was something going on with Bryce tonight, whatever--then looked at Colleen again. "It's good to see you."

  "Can't say the same," she answered.

  His mouth tugged on one side, causing a respondent tug in her special places. Five more minutes, and she'd be back in love.

  "Bryce doesn't need more complications in his life right now."

  "And by complications, you mean what, exactly?"

  "The Chicken King's virgin daughter."

  "Oh, cool! That sounds like a Harlequin romance. I would definitely read that." The Chicken King's virgin daughter was nowhere to be seen at the moment. "And how do you know Paulie's a virgin, huh? Maybe she's the town slut."

  Yeah. This wasn't going well.

  "I doubt she's the town slut."

  She bristled. "What are you implying, Lucas?"

  He gave her a strange look. "Nothing. Just that Paulie doesn't seem like the type."

  "Well, what if she is a slut, huh? Maybe Bryce likes sluts." Time to shut up now, Connor's voice--her conscience--advised sagely.

  "I'm sure he does."

  "So what's your problem, then?"

  "I'm trying to have a rational conversation here."

  "Yeah, and I haven't seen you in ten years, and you just waltz into my bar and start insulting me and bossing me around. I do know about your uncle and how sick he is, because guess what? I visit him. I like him. I bring him magazines and cookies, and he likes my dog."

  "You have a dog?"

  "Yes, I do, so just...you just, um, put that in your pipe and suck on it." Smooth, O'Rourke. She tried to look haughty and dignified. "Maybe I happen to think that Bryce needs someone to help him through this difficult time."

  "Maybe he has other things to deal with."

  "And maybe I'm right and you're wrong."

  He tilted his head to one side. "I'm getting the sense that you're still mad."

  "I'm not."

  "Leave my cousin alone, all right?"

  "Make me."

  He rolled his beautiful (damn them) eyes and walked over to Bryce, hugging him.

  Humph. He hadn't hugged her.

  "Let's stop being stupid, shall we?" she muttered to herself.

  Lucas said something, then smiled. Shit, that was a good smile. Hardly ever saw it, that was the trick. She, on the other hand, smiled like a pubescent monkey or jackal or hyena or some other animal that smiled a lot. "What do you think?" she asked Victor Iskin, a regular at the bar who had a well-documented love of animals. "Do hyenas smile more than monkeys?"

  "Yes," he answered.

  "Do I look like a hyena right now?"

  "Can't say that you do, dear."

  "Colleen! Leave the customers alone!" Connor called from the kitchen.

  Lucas and Bryce were leaving, thank the sweet Christ child.

  Her hands were shaking. She heard an odd sound; it was her, sucking air.

  "Who was that?"

  Colleen gave herself a mental shake. "Hey. Paulie. How'd it go?"

  "I knocked him down, stepped on his hand, spilled a drink on his head, yanked his arm, hurled him into the bar and then hid."

  "That's good," Colleen murmured.

  Paulie frowned, then looked at Colleen more closely. "Who was that? The guy you were talking to. He looked familiar."

  "That's...that's Bryce's cousin."

  "Oh, man, I remember him! Lucas, right?" Paulie ran a hand through her hair. "You were together, weren't you?"

  "Yeah." She closed her eyes.

  "Well, shit. Are you still in love with him?"

  "No!"

  "Are your special places tingling?"

  "Excuse me? No. No, that's...of course not. I mean...he broke my heart. First love and all that crap. A long time ago."

  "Yeah, well, I'd give anything to have Bryce look at me the way Lucas was looking at you."

  "We were fighting."

  "I'd give anything to have Bryce fight with me that way." Paulie raised her eyebrows.

  A change of subject was definitely needed. "Okay, so tonight's Bryce encounter didn't go as planned," she said. "The good news is, you got his attention, right? That's the first step."

  "The first step in his filing a restraining order against me, maybe."

  "Oh, come on. Bryce probably doesn't know what a restraining order is."

  "He's not dumb, Colleen."

  Colleen winced. "No, you're right. Sorry. Anyway, you were memorable, so it's not all bad."

  As she and Paulie talked, there was another voice in her head. Common sense, call it. Don't fall for those eyes again. Don't notice his hands, or his mouth. Those are just tricks. We're not doing this again.

  Already, it felt like she was in a whole lotta trouble.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  THE FIRST TIME she ever saw Lucas Damien Campbell, Colleen fell in love.

  Not that she was a believer in that kind of thing.

  Even at the tender age of eleven, when her mother had sobbed through yet another sappy romantic comedy, Colleen pointed out the fact that the characters had known each other for only six days, so it was a little hard to buy into the whole everlasting soul mate philosophy. In seventh grade, Tim Jansen sent her a letter full of hyperbolic compliments ("your eyes are shinier than a mirror," which Colleen thought was creepy and hoped wasn't true) and anguished love ("I feel like my heart will explode when you smile at me"). She patted his hand and said he probably should take up a sport to channel some of that energy.

  High school was no different, though the boys abruptly grew taller...despite the abundance of hormones, despite her abiding love for Robert Downey, Jr., Colleen remained above the fray. No, she'd rather hang out with her brother, laugh at his friends, and watch Faith and Jeremy, the perfect couple, with fondness and a satisfying bit of melancholy. By the time she was a senior, virtually every boy in Manningsport had asked her out and received a kindly "no." Love--especially the sloppy, frenching-in-the-halls type--was not meant for Colleen Margaret Mary O'Rourke.

  "What do you mean, you're not going to prom?" her mother asked one night around the family dinner table
. Con was going with Sherry Wong, a mathlete like himself. "Hasn't anyone asked you?"

  "Nine guys have asked her, Ma," Connor offered, taking another shovelful of mashed potatoes.

  "It's not for me," Colleen said easily. "Drama, rayon dresses, crepe paper, the inevitable tears. I'll pass."

  "That's my girl," Dad said with an approving nod. Connor sighed, and Colleen could feel his mood drop several degrees. It was no secret that Colleen was their father's favorite.

  People like them, Dad said once in a while, were too smart for that. Just what that was, Colleen wasn't sure, but she was flattered to be included. Her father's approval was everything. Connor was smart, too--smarter, at least according to his grades, but "we think alike," Dad would say.

  Pete O'Rourke was still handsome enough to get stares from women of all ages--black Irish, the same clear gray eyes Colleen had, unlike Connor's blue. He was the youngest of his family, widely viewed to be the star of the family by his older sisters, who fussed over him at family gatherings, getting him plates of food as if he were an invalid, cooing over his latest real estate coup. In town, men shook his hand, laughed loudly at his jokes, came to him for advice--Dad owned six of the fifteen commercial buildings in town.

  Mom was still sappily infatuated with him, which Colleen found both cute and annoying. When his car pulled into the driveway, she'd rush to ditch her slippers, shove her feet into heels and put on lipstick. If he commented on her appearance, "Jeanette, is that a new hairstyle?" She'd flush with pleasure. "Oh, thank you!" she'd say, not quite noticing that it wasn't exactly a compliment. And Dad would give Colleen a little wink of collusion, which made her feel simultaneously guilty and clever.

  Mom never finished college, knocked up in the great tradition of the O'Rourke family. She worked part-time for an interior designer and actually could've joined the firm; her boss quite liked her, but she always said no. "Your father is such a good provider," she'd say.

  Slightly overweight, she'd go on fad diets before the holidays or the annual Manningsport Black & White Ball, get her hair done, buy a new dress...but still, Mom always looked a little older, a little frumpier, a little less certain than Dad. Pete O'Rourke was, there was no mistaking it, one of those guys who got better with age, Manningsport's version of Pierce Brosnan: the graying hair, the extreme good looks.

  To Colleen, the best compliment she could get was that she was her father's girl. Except when Mom said it, for some reason; there'd be a slight and rare tinge of bitterness in her voice. Then again, Mom loved Connor best. It was only fair.

  So yeah, a high school romance, prom, and all that...leave that for the other girls: Theresa and Faith, who'd marry their high school honeys, no doubt. Let other girls worry over boys (or girls, in the case of Deirdre and Tiffy). Colleen would give advice to the girls, deflect advances from the boys, cheerful and observant and not at all lonely...not with a twin and a best friend and adoring father. It was exactly how she wanted things.

  And then she met Lucas Campbell.

  It was big news, of course. Manningsport had a tiny year-round population; just about any change was cause for excitement.

  "Kids," said Mrs. Wheaton, their beleaguered English teacher, adjusting her corduroy (ouch) jumper, "we have two new students joining our class shortly." She consulted her paperwork. "Bryce and Lucas Campbell. Uh...cousins, it says here. Please be nice."

  "Is Bryce a boy's name?" Tanya Cross asked. She wasn't tremendously bright.

  "Yes," Mrs. Wheaton asked. "Now, getting back to Hamlet. Does anyone have an opinion on Ophelia?"

  No one bothered answering. A ripple went through the class. Two new members of the senior class? Jeremy Lyon had transferred in last summer, and look how totally awesome he was! Could lightning strike twice? The girls began either whispering to or ignoring each other. Posture: improved. Hair: tossed. Legs: crossed. Lips: licked.

  The guys in the class exchanged glances, aware that two new roosters in the henhouse would shift the dynamic. Well, not all the boys. Asswipe Jones was sleeping (hungover, probably), and Levi Cooper stared at Jessica with that hot look of his. Jeremy was running a hand through his own dark hair.

  As for Colleen, she didn't need to sit up or lick or cross. She already had it going on. (False modesty--not one of her flaws.) Still, she too glanced at the door. Just because she didn't want to date anyone didn't mean she didn't want to be acknowledged as, yes, the prettiest girl in high school, the funniest and the most sought-after.

  The door opened, and in came the newbies.

  There was a stunned silence, then a collective murmur.

  "Oh, my God," Tanya breathed.

  Yep, the first guy was a looker. Blue, blue eyes, sweet smile, dark brown hair that was styled but not too embarrassing. Dimple in his left cheek. Were Colleen the dating type, she'd probably be all over that. His eyes stopped on her, his smile widened, which was gratifying. Colleen allowed a faint smile back. The not-quite-catty thought came to her--she could have him if she wanted. Which she didn't, but still.

  Then she noticed the second guy. Her smile faltered.

  Holy St. Patrick. Her face didn't change (she hoped), but her body was...was doing things. Stomach tightened, mouth dried, knees (and other parts) tingled. She acknowledged the feelings from afar because her brain couldn't quite function at the moment.

  He looked a lot like the other boy, but he was darker. Not quite as good-looking...well, no. Not quite as perfect, but a lot more compelling. Black hair instead of brown, olive skin and deep, dark eyes.

  He looked like a Spanish pirate. Like a Romany gypsy. Like Heathcliff in Wuthering Heights, and like Heathcliff, there was something about his expression that said he knew things, saw things, that he wasn't as sweet or as easy or as simple as the boy who stood next to him.

  "Now, which one of you is Bryce?" Mrs. Wheaton asked.

  "I am," said the blue-eyed guy. "This is my cousin Lucas. He lives with us." And even though Bryce made the introduction, it was Lucas who shook hands with Mrs. W. first, causing his cousin to follow suit, and Colleen could sense the dynamic: Lucas, the cousin who lived with "us," was in charge.

  "Nice to meet you," the gypsy boy said, and Colleen just about slid out of her chair in lust. Because that voice, good God, did eighteen-year-old boys really get to sound like that? It was deep and mellow and just a little rough and caused a reverberation in Colleen's special places, and what the hell would happen if he actually spoke to her?

  "Welcome, boys," Mrs. Wheaton said. "Find a seat, if you'd be so kind." There was a tremendous screech as the female half of the class pushed their chairs back to make room for the newcomers.

  Lucas went past Colleen, and it was horrifying, embarrassing, thrilling to have her heart pound so hard. He smelled like soap and sunshine and wore faded jeans and black Converse, and that was all she saw because she didn't dare look at him. Don't talk to me, don't talk to me, her brain chanted. He didn't, just went past to the back of the room, the longest four seconds of her life. Her cheeks burned--honestly, a boy making her cheeks burn? This never happened!--and she stared at the words in her book. I do not know, my lord, what I should think.

  Preach it, Ophelia.

  Where was he? Was he looking at her? Who was he sitting next to? A girl? Probably a girl. Jessica? She always sat in the back. She'd probably already given him her number. They were probably already planning a hookup, because everyone knew Jess just used Levi for sex. Would the Spanish pirate boy go for someone like that? Colleen would lose all respect, not that she had any just yet, but you know, she could already feel herself getting mad, boys were so stupid, and--

  "How's it going?" Bryce asked. He'd sat down next to her, and she hadn't quite noticed.

  "Great," she said. "I'm Colleen. Welcome to Manningsport."

  "Nice meeting you," he said with an easy grin.

  Where was Lucas? What was he thinking? Would he like her, too? Because it was obvious that what's-his-name, Bryce, already did, though he was
now talking to Tanya, who was being super-duper helpful and sharing her copy of Hamlet with him, pressing her boob against his arm. Colleen hoped he liked the smell of Eternity perfume, because Tanya practically bathed in it.

  She wanted very much to turn around and see the gypsy boy. Also, she should probably stop referring to him as pirate or gypsy. Even mentally.

  She didn't turn. She was too smart for that, as Dad pointed out.

  She didn't feel so smart now.

  For the next thirty-one minutes, she tried to concentrate on Hamlet. Never before had she been quite so interested in the words coming out of Mrs. Wheaton's mouth. Not that she could actually understand them, mind you, but Colleen assiduously took notes, keeping her handwriting tidy, mentally repeating phrases like "preoccupation with death," "theme of decomposition." And in the meantime, her entire body pulsed with hot, almost painful throbs and a vague sense of danger, the same as last summer, when they'd gone swimming on Cape Cod the day after a shark attack. Just because you couldn't see it, didn't mean it wasn't there. Waiting.

  "Come on, idiot," her brother said, nudging her head with his backpack. "Physics lab. Snap out of it."

  Ah. Class had ended, then. Lucas and Bryce were talking to Mrs. Wheaton. Colleen stood up and gave her brother a look. "I was taking notes. Thank me later when I save you from flunking the test."

  "I don't need notes," Connor said, going on ahead.

  She carefully didn't look at Lucas...well, not directly. Wouldn't want to give the impression that she couldn't look at Lucas, so she did the drive-by glance...gaze just skimming the face, looking away the instant before his eyes could meet hers, a faint smile on her face, so very pleasant. "Bye, Mrs. Wheaton," she said. "Bye, boys." Because Colleen O'Rourke wasn't bothered by the male species. She was too smart for that.

  For the next three weeks, Colleen managed not to speak to Lucas Campbell. Bryce, she found, was as friendly as Smiley, the Holland family's Golden retriever, and about as smart. Bryce was quite beautiful and fun to look at, and she found herself flirting with him harmlessly, same as she did with all the other boys. He could volley it back pretty well, though most of her jokes went over his head. Still, he had long eyelashes and beautiful blue eyes and always seemed happy.

  His cousin...well, Colleen didn't know what he was like. She gave him the occasional drive-by, not wanting to ignore him outright because of what that might reveal.